You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Pants are for mortals
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
