i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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