So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
