My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
