I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
