I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
