God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
