from now on my penis is your penis
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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