4 words: hood of his car
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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