i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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