I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She's the barista slut.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize