okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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