Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Your cock deserves a montage
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
