is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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