Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
