Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
A bitchslap is in order.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize