last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
