ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
