I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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