can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
