Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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