wakey wakey hands off snakey
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Pants are for mortals
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
