Where is the hickey?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize