perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
