dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize