Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
a search helicopter?!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
