Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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