Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
