State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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