My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
