someone get that fucking seahorse.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
