after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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