did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
