A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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