Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
