just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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