Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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