So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
