lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Randomize
