it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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