Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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