I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
