Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize