Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
