I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
