Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
