Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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