I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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