If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
