please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Life is so much better after having sex.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
