Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
