Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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