? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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