we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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