That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
