I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize