brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
