Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
