I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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