nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
