I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
