is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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