Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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