let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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