We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
be right there i have to get my cape
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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