If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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