So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
