3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
