Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
