Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
