i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
